


bottle up my hopes in a store bought scent

by reachedthebitterend



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 05:48:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20204734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reachedthebitterend/pseuds/reachedthebitterend
Summary: Alex likes the smell of Michael's hair.





	bottle up my hopes in a store bought scent

**Author's Note:**

> written 04/04/19

.1.

Alex isn’t really expecting it when Michael drops down on the seat opposite of his at the Crashdown. Alex is waiting for Maria and Liz to finish their project so that they can go to the Drive In and was mostly done with his dinner, but Mr. Ortecho kept narrowing his eyes in Alex’s direction whenever he noticed that there was still food in his plate.

“Hey,” Michael says and leans over the table and steals a fry from Alex’s plate.

“Hey!” Alex says reaching to slap the back of his hand, but Michael is faster.

He smiles at Alex, putting the fry to his mouth, and Alex’s gaze drops to his lips and his vision tunnels. His lips are full and chapped and pink and Alex has never wanted to kiss someone so bad in his life.

But he already tried, and Michael is definitely not interested.

Alex looks away and catches Mr. Ortecho’s eyes, and grabs another fry automatically.

Michael clears his throat and Alex looks back to him before he’s reaching for his almost done milkshake and reaching in to dip his fry.

“Got any plans for today?” Michael asks as Alex puts the fry in his mouth.

Alex nods while he chews and swallows, “I have plans with Liz and Maria.”

Michael who had started frowning gives him a small smile.

Before he can say anything, Rosa appears with a fresh plate of fries and a new milkshake.

“Liz says thirty more minutes.”

Alex sighs and looks over to where Mr. Ortecho is raising his eyebrows and then looking deliberately at Michael sitting across from him.

And this was the main reason why he took so long to let Liz know. Because she can’t keep a secret from her father.

Alex looks away to see Rosa putting two straws into the milkshake with an obvious wink and leaving.

Michael is looking at the milkshake with his lips slightly parted, surprise widening his eyes and Alex feels the flush working across his cheeks.

Michael looks up to him and his mouth snaps shut before he’s looking away, out of the window.

Alex sighs and rubs his hand against the back of his neck.

“Sorry,” he says finally. “They know and think they’re being helpful.”

Michael pulls lips into his mouth before he shrugs and reaches for one of the fresh fries.

Alex lets him and grins when Michael dips the fry into the new milkshake.

“What about tomorrow?” Michael asks as he quickly starts to demolish the fries when Alex nudges them in his direction.

“_What_ about tomorrow?” Alex asks also sliding the milkshake closer to Michael.

“Any plans?” He asks pulling the milkshake over and taking a sip.

“I work,” Alex says groaning and propping his elbows on the table so that he can bury his face in his hands.

When Michael doesn’t reply, Alex looks up.

Michael is watching him with a furrowed brow.

“You’re not trying to avoid me, are you?”

Alex gives him a confused look. “Why would I avoid you?”

Michael’s gaze flickers to his mouth, and Alex swallows hard, confusion melting away.

Oh, right.

Alex looks away flushing and licks his lips.

“No I’m not trying to avoid you,” he says softly. “It’s been a busy couple of days.”

Michael doesn’t say anything, but Alex hears the sound of the milkshake being pushed and looks to see Michael giving him a soft smile. “Good. I don’t usually talk to a lot of people, and I’d like it if we could be f-friends?”

He stutters over the last word and looks away from Alex a flush working across his cheeks.

Alex bites his lip and tries not to feel too disappointed.

“I’d like that,” Alex says and when Michael glances at him, Alex gives him a soft smile.

Michael smiles back.

He nudges the milkshake again. “If we’re sharing this, why don’t you come sit over here?”

He signals to the part of his empty boothe and Alex’s cheeks burst into flames even as he desperately tries to remind himself that Michael wants to be friends.

Alex licks his lips. “I was here first.”

Michael nods his head and then pushes both the milkshake and the fries over to Alex’s side before he’s moving and takes the seat right next to Alex, forcing Alex to move over a little.

Michael nudges the fries over and Alex grabs one even though he’s full.

They eat in silence for a few minutes, Alex casting looks at Michael out of the corner of his eye.

Alex reaches for the milkshake and his fingers brush Michael’s.

Alex flinches, moving his hand fast, and looks out the window.

Michael clears his throat. “There are two straws.”

His voice sounds a little high, and when Alex turns to look at him, Michael is turning the milkshake towards him until one of the straws is pointing in Alex’s direction.

Alex bites his lip before he smiles in thanks and leans in. Michael leans in too, and they both freeze.

Alex looks at Michael, and Michael looks back to him, a challenge clearly in his eyes.

Alex is never one to back down from a challenge.

He leans forward the rest of the way, resting his hand in the space between them and wraps his lips around the straw, raising an eyebrow when all Michael does is stare at him.

Michael leans forward and their heads brush together as he pulls the other straw into his mouth.

His eyes are downcast on the drink, but Alex can’t stop looking at him. At his eyelashes sweeping his cheeks, at the rosy blush painting his cheekbones, at the sharp edge of his jaw, at his mouth.

Alex closes his eyes and lets the straw go and inhales deeply.

A sweet, gentle scent tickles his nose, flowery and mild, but _there_ as soon as you realize it.

Alex tilts his head slightly and freezes a little when something tickles his nose, and he realizes that the scent is coming from Michael. Michael’s hair specifically.

Alex blinks his eyes open and jolts a little when he realizes that this is the closest that they’ve been since three nights ago when Alex almost kissed him.

Michael looks up at that, and they both freeze as he looks straight into Alex’s eyes.

The entire world seems to disappear and all Alex knows is Michael.

Michael whose eyes are a hypnotic swirl of gold and hazel and a bit of green, whose pupils widen as Alex tilts his chin a little.

The sound of dishes crashing to the floor, startles them apart.

Alex leans back in his seat, while Michael grabs another fry and dips it into the milkshake.

He offers it to Alex, a peace offering.

Alex takes the fry and smiles.

“So,” Alex says after eating the fry. “I have a book that has a couple of songs that I think you might like to play. I can bring it by anytime you want.”

Michael smiles, wide and _new_ and it short circuits Alex’s brain.

“I’d like that.”

Alex nods and picks up another fry and thinks, this friend thing, might be harder than he thought.

.2.

Alex is leaning against Michael’s truck, watching as the sky started to lighten with the dawn, when Michael opens the door to the airstream moodily only to stop short when he sees Alex.

Alex doesn’t look at him directly, but he can see him lowering what looks like a bottle of beer.

“You’re still here,” he says sounding surprised and pleased.

Alex looks at him then. Michael pulled on the same clothes he pulled off, and his hair was a mess from having Alex’s hands running through it. There was a red splotch high on his neck left behind by Alex’s mouth that would probably be gone by that night.

Alex’s mouth feels dry, and he swallows hard and looks away again.

“Just wanted to make sure that you actually leave before they come and arrest you,” Alex says eyeing the horizon as the sun starts to rise.

He feels more than hears Michael settle back next to him, just barely touching him, like he’s afraid to get any closer, as though they weren’t just as close as two people could get just a couple of hours ago.

Alex drops his arms from where he has them crossed across his chest and his right hand bumps into the back of Michael’s left.

Michael inhales sharply, but he doesn’t say anything as Alex presses the back of his hand to Michael’s before moving his hand so that their fingers are pressed together.

Michael tries to tangle his fingers through Alex’s, but Alex slides his hand up, sliding his fingers across Michael’s palm and then back to the front of his hand, a feather light touch across the scars on the back of his hand, before he threads their fingers together like that.

Michael tightens his fingers around Alex’s, and Alex can feel how his shuddering breaths wrack along his body.

The sunlight spills across the sky, painting it pink and orange and gold, and Alex turns as Michael lifts their joined hands to his face.

Alex stares as Michael presses a kiss to the back of his hand, before his eyes turn to Alex.

Alex’s breath catches in his throat as he watches Michael watch him.

He’s standing there catching the golden rays of the sun in his hair like a halo, glowing from within like he’s made of sunlight as the sky gets brighter, his eyes bright and clear like stained glass as he stares at Alex like he’s never been as happy as he is right now.

The moment feels like a delicate glass figurine cupped in the palm of Alex’s hands, something to treasure and to protect.

He slides his hand out of Michael’s grip and places his hand against the back of his neck, tugging him in gently.

Alex knows that Michael is probably expecting Alex to kiss him. It’s evident in the way his gaze drops to Alex’s mouth.

And Alex wants to, wants to kiss him so badly. It feels like it’s been _too_ long, when he’s gone longer without being kissed by Michael.

But he feels like that might fracture the moment.

He tugs Michael in close and wraps his arms around his shoulders, pressing his face into the crook of his neck.

Michael freezes for a long moment, and Alex thinks that maybe he’s misread every single thing about their relationship for one long terrible second.

And then Michael is melting into him, arms wrapping around Alex’s waist, and tugging him in even closer, until their knees are overlapping and their chests are pressed together.

Michael’s chin digs into his shoulder, and Alex hears him exhale roughly.

Alex deliberately inhales trying to match his breathing to Michael’s.

He breathes him in and smells sweat and dirt and motor oil and something sweet and tart that reminds him of a raspberry bursting right at the back of your tongue, and when Alex presses even closer, lips parting against the skin of his throat, Alex can smell his own mild aftershave.

Michael tightens his arms Alex and leans back hard against the truck. Alex leans even more of his weight on him, moving in closer, and pressing his nose right up behind of his ear, right into his hair.

The sweet scent of raspberry gets stronger, and it makes Alex smile and remember a flash of another sweet scent and sharing a milkshake at the Crashdown.

Alex inhales deeply and then pulls back a little. Michael’s hands press against his back, keeping him close.

Alex smiles and slides his hands to the back of his neck, pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes.

“Can I see you tonight?” Alex asks sliding his hands into Michael’s hair.

Michael sighs in pleasure and pushes into the touch. “You can see me right now,” he says voice dropping low and seductive.

Alex shivers and presses closer, hands tightening in Michael’s hair.

Michael gasps, and slides his hands low on Alex’s back.

“You have to move before you’re arrested, Guerin.”

“Would be worth it,” Michael says right against his mouth. “To fuck you right out here in the open and not have to worry about anyone catching us.”

Alex kisses him hard and fast.

Michael makes a low noise of approval at the back of his throat.

Alex pulls away as Michael’s hands slide up the back of his shirt.

“I have to be at work in an hour,” Alex says trying to get his breathing back under control.

Michael groans and lets his head drop back against a box that rattles alarmingly.

Alex’s gaze shifts from his mouth to his throat, where the red splotch is disappearing, just like Alex suspected.

He leans down and presses a kiss right above it, making Michael freeze against him.

Alex tightens his fingers in Michael’s hair and tugs his head to the side, and latches his mouth right on the spot.

Michael whispers a heartfelt, “Fuck.” And slides one hand into Alex’s hair holding him close.

Alex sucks hard until Michael is whimpering in the back of his throat, and his hips are grinding against Alex’s, breath coming out in sharp pants.

Alex lets go and takes a step back pulling out of Michael’s hold, keeping his balance with his hands on either side of Michael, hanging on the truck.

“Tonight?” he asks eyes on Michael’s mouth.

Michael makes an incredulous noise, but sighs, threading his fingers through Alex’s belt loops and tugging him gently.

“Tonight,” he whispers leaning in close and pressing their mouths together again.

Alex kisses him back, leaning into him when Michael tugs him back in.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and Alex pulls back.

“I have to go.”

Michael licks his lips and nods his head slowly.

Alex nods his head back at him, and leans in and kisses him again.

He’s definitely going to be late to work at this rate, but it just might be worth it.

.3.

Alex wakes up in Michael’s bed, the light coming from the huge heavy moon in the sky, spills into the airstream through the window. Instead of getting up and getting dressed and running away like a thief in the night, pretending that he doesn’t notice that Michael is awake and watching him as he leaves, Alex settles himself sideways, leaning his head on his hand and stares at Michael.

Alex feels, well, happy for the first time in a long time.

And it scares him because the last time he felt like this everything fell apart around them.

But Alex is trying not to think about that, and concentrate on the happy thoughts.

Like the fact that this would be the ninth night in a row that he’s woken up in the airstream with Michael pressed close against him. Or the fact that last night had felt suspiciously like a date, with the beers and the food and offbeat terrible dancing that turned into them making out against the door to the airstream.

Alex leans forward and lies his head on Michael’s shoulder tilting his chin up to continue watching him.

Michael moves a little bit, but doesn’t wake up, both of his hands resting low on his stomach rising up and down with his deep even breaths, the sheets just barely pulled up to his hips.

Alex’s eyes sweep back up to his face, and he leans even closer, pressing his face along the curve of Michael’s neck.

Michael moves, breath stuttering, and Alex places his hand over Michael’s, and Michael settled down almost immediately.

Alex presses his smile to Michael’s neck, and breathes him in.

He smells like a mixture of sunblock and coconut. Alex moves even closer, following the scent into his hair.

Alex had smelled it as soon as he’d walked into the airstream.

Michael had probably showered and washed his hair before Alex had gotten there and the scent of coconut was heavy in the air and Alex had smiled and had wanted to tease him about it, but Michael had backed him up against the low counter and had kissed him like he was on a mission to make Alex fall apart as fast as possible.

Alex presses a kiss right behind of Michael’s ear, and Michael shivers, arching his head into the touch.

“‘_lex_,” Michael says voice hoarse and low. “_Leavin’ already_?”

His hands trap Alex’s hand to his stomach, fingers sliding between his knuckles.

Alex presses in close to his side, pressing his knees to Michael’s thigh.

Michael sighs and his breathing goes deep and even, back to sleep almost immediately.

Alex inhales deeply and presses even closer.

Maybe he should ask Michael out on an actual date. Maybe to the event at the Drive In tomorrow (well, technically, tonight) night.

Alex is obligated to go, but it might be more fun if Michael is there with him.

His father is going to be there, but Alex doesn’t actually have to deal with him in public if he doesn’t absolutely have to.

He buries his nose into the curls right at the back of Michael’s neck and sighs, eyes falling shut.

.4.

Alex had felt confident enough that it was the middle of the day and that Michael was a creature of habit, to go the the Wild Pony to spend a couple of hours with Maria during the middle of the day.

They had hung out last weekend at his place, but Alex felt like drinking since it was the anniversary of the day that Alex had left Roswell to start Basic Training ten years ago.

The first hitch in his plan is that Maria had a family emergency and wasn’t at the bar, but she did make sure to let the bartender on duty know that Alex’s drinks were on the house today.

The second hitch was Kyle appearing at the bar five minutes after Alex had gotten there. He sat down next to him like he had come to see him, which might just be the case since Maria knows what today is.

“This is more like it,” he says and orders a beer. “Just two old friends hanging out and drinking beers.”

Alex rolls his eyes but he doesn’t tell him to go away since he actually doesn’t want to be alone right now.

Kyle’s good company when he’s not trying too hard, and he slows down on his drinks when he notices that Alex speeds up considerably.

“Everything okay?” Kyle interrupts some story he’s telling about his first year stuck in the Emergency Room Ward when Alex downs three shots consecutively.

Alex says, “I’m fine,” and drinks the rest of his beer.

He’s about to order another round of shots when familar laughter catches and traps his attention.

Alex’s eyes find Michael immediately, and Alex isn’t sure how he didn’t notice that Michael was in the bar.

Now that he does, his presence feels like a physical weight on Alex’s chest.

Alex takes in what Michael is doing, and feels his heart drop to his stomach.

It’s one thing to hear that Michael has been flirting and seducing and taking someone new home almost every night for the last two weeks. It was another thing to actually see it in action.

Alex feels something bitter and ugly and sharp and sour lodge in his throat, and he thinks about how even if he hadn’t ran away, they would never be able to do something like that in public. Not in Roswell.

Alex turns away from where Michael is teaching his catch for the night how to play pool and pulls out the wad of cash he was gonna give Maria to cover his drinks.

“I have to go,” he tells Kyle.

Kyle looks at him speculatively but doesn’t say anything as Alex grabs his jacket from where he’d flung it over the bar and leaves.

The cold air outside hits him like a punch to the face, sobering him up a little as he makes his way to his car determined to get there before anyone can stop him.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Michael’s voice comes from behind him, sounding a little out of breath.

Alex stops in his tracks and inhales deeply trying to clear the way his thoughts seem to be sloshing together.

“Home,” Alex says and winces when his voice slurs.

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Michael says and Alex can see him walking around him out of the corner of his eye. “Deluca will have my balls if I let you drive like this. Come on. I’ll take you home.”

Alex looks up at him and very nearly groans at the look in Michael’s eyes, steely determination.

“What about your date?” And he winces when his voice cracks coming out whiny and accusing.

Michael just rolls his eyes and holds his hands out for the keys.

Alex surrenders to the inevitable, and throws his keys at Michael who catches them with ease and turns towards Alex’s car.

Alex follows him and thinks that maybe it won’t be so bad.

He’s wrong of course.

Michael has the heater blasting when Alex finally gets into the car. And the hot air is pushing Michael’s hair back, filling the car quickly with a heady strawberry scent that hits Alex in the face as soon as he opens the door.

The scent is sweet enough to be familiar enough especially today of all days when Alex works so hard to forget that it takes him back.

Back to the moment he told Michael he was leaving.

Michael had clutched him tight and Alex had buried his face in his neck and had cried until the collar of Michael’s shirt was soaked and he felt exhausted and tired.

He remembers waking up with a headache and leaving before Michael woke up because he wouldn’t be able to say no if Michael actually asked him to stay.

“Are you planning on heating up the entire parking lot?” Michael asks sarcastically when all Alex does is stand there watching him.

Alex debates to go back inside and ask Kyle for a ride instead of trying to control himself while stuck inside of a small space with Michael smelling like he’d taken his morning shower in a field of strawberries, but in the end, Alex never chooses the easy options when it comes to dealing with Michael Guerin.

It would be better to tell Michael that they’ll talk later than to attempt to have a simple, normal, non alien related (since he’s not supposed to _know_) or relationship related (because it would be today of all days that they would have that talk) conversation with Michael while he drives him home.

Alex gets inside of the car.

He closes the door, and the smell fills his head, and he knows he made a mistake.

But Michael is already pulling out of the parking spot.

Alex settles himself back in his seat and closes his eyes.

The first few minutes pass by in silence and Alex thinks that maybe he could do this without making things worse between them.

Michael clears his throat and Alex feels a tendril of dread.

“So,” Michael says sounding curious. “Why were you day drinking?”

Alex inhales deeply and then opens his eyes and turns his head to look at Michael.

Michael glances at him for a second eyes going wide when he notices Alex watching him, but he looks back to the road.

Alex licks his lips and keeps looking at Michael intently.

“Don’t you know what today is?”

Michael reacts immediately, hands tightening around the steering wheel.

He breathes in harshly and then exhales and throws Alex a glance out of the corner of his eyes.

“Of course I do,” Michael says voice raspy.

Alex nods his head satisfied and turns back to face forward.

“I can’t believe it’s driving you to drink,” Michael says scoffing a little. “I would think you’d celebrate the day you finally left Roswell.”

His voice sounds odd, but Alex is suddenly feeling all the shots he’d taken a couple of minutes earlier, and he can’t tell why.

“I don’t think about it that way,” Alex says as he turns to look out of the side window. “I consider it the day that I left you, and that’s what drives me to drink.”

The car stops suddenly screeching to a stop and pulling roughly to the side.

Alex holds onto the dashboard and tries to stop the world from spinning.

Once he feels like he’s not going to throw up as soon as he opens his mouth, he turns to glare at Michael who isn’t even paying attention to him, looking forward, hands wrapped around the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are white, breathing hard.

“What the fuck was that?” Alex asks when Michael doesn’t do anything.

The words drive Michael into motion.

His gaze snaps to Alex and then he’s getting out of the car, slamming the door shut behind himself.

Alex takes a couple of breaths, until Michael’s scent is filling up his head and calming him down, strawberries and motor oil.

Alex blinks his eyes open to find Michael leaning against the hood of the car even though it’s probably too hot.

He reaches towards the ignition and turns off the car before he takes a deep breath and gets out.

He walks to the front, barely stumbling and stands in front of Michael.

Michael looks up at him with his big bright eyes brimming with too many things that Alex isn’t equipped to deal with when he’s not sober (or even when he is sober).

“Every time I think I’ve got you figured out,” he breathes out laughing humorlessly. “You go ahead and do or say something that makes me rethink everything I know about you.”

Alex looks at him unblinking as Michael stares back at him with wide eyes that never hide anything.

“It’s easier to lie than to tell you the truth,” Alex says slowly. “Easier to push you away because then I don’t have to fight myself and you.”

Michael looks at him disbelievingly, and Alex tries to recapture the dizzy boozy feeling he had when he’d gotten out of the car, but the cool air and talking about something entirely too serious is working to sober him up quick.

Making him regret what he just said immediately.

Alex licks his lips. “I mean-”

“That you keep pushing me away because you want me.”

Alex exhales roughly. “That is a gross oversimplification, Guerin. It’s not about that. Not really. You’re just-”

Alex shakes his head and starts pacing.

“You’re too much,” he says finally and catches the devastated look on Michael’s face, and forces himself to keep going. “And it’s overwhelming. And I have to stop myself from doing or saying something completely crazy like I lo-”

Alex stops moving and snaps his mouth shut.

“I mean-” Alex starts again voice barely a whisper.

Michael cuts him off again, wrapping a hand around Alex’s arm and tugging him around and into a kiss.

Alex gasps in surprise and presses forward, kissing Michael back.

They stumble back into the passenger side door, attached at the mouth. Michael presses Alex back into the freezing metal, cold hands sliding down the waistband of his jeans and tugging him in close.

Alex opens his mouth to Michael’s fingers caught in his hair as he keeps him close.

Michael presses him harder against the car door, before he’s sliding one hand out of Alex’s pants.

Alex feels him make a sharp movement and the door hits him in the back, but Michael kisses him intently, fingers moving to the back of his head, sliding into his hair as he tugs Alex in close and kisses him until Alex forgets everything but the heat of him pressed close.

He follows Michael’s lead easily, letting him tug him forward away from the car to bump into him.

It makes Alex bite down against his bottom lip and Michael hisses against his mouth before he’s pushing Alex back.

Alex stumbles into sitting position in the back seat of the car a little surprised. But he moves back easily enough when Michael starts to stalk forward, planting his knee right on the edge of the seat, and his hand on the back seat.

Alex looks up at him and Michael hovers over him, just looking at him with dark eyes before he’s leaning down.

Alex lies back on the back seat, his prosthetic foot flat on the car seat, knee pinned against Michael’s hip and the backseat, his left foot flat on the floor of the car.

It makes it easy for Michael to move in close as he slides their mouths together.

Alex slides his fingers back into Michael’s hair and tugs against the strands. Michael kisses him harder and deeper, pressing in closer, until Alex feels the complete weight of him, pinning his hips and pressing down on his chest, his arms framing his face, making Alex feel trapped, but not in a bad way.

Alex feels lightheaded, and everytime he manages to drag in a breath of air, it’s hot and humid and sweet and bitter and it intoxicates Alex more than the alcohol did.

Alex loses track of time and place as Michael kisses him like he’s drowning and Alex is the air he needs to breathe.

Michael moves Alex’s hands out of his hair and threads their fingers together, pressing his hands down on the seat above Alex’s head.

He pulls back a little, and Alex blinks his eyes open slowly.

He looks into Michael’s eyes, and they’re dark and heavy lidded. He looks at Alex and licks his lips before he moves, rocking his hips into Alex’s slowly and deliberately.

Alex’s eyes roll to the back of his head as he feels how hard Michael is against him, as he hears Michael grunt softly as he rocks his hips into Alex’s a little bit harder, as Alex feels his cock getting harder with every thrust.

Michael’s fingers tighten around his, and he pushes their foreheads together.

“You sure?” Michael asks voice low and unsure, almost like he thinks that Alex will regret this, almost like he thinks this is only happening because Alex had been drinking and trying to forget.

Alex pulls his hands out of Michael’s hold easily and grips the collar of his shirt in his hands before he pushes him back, lifting himself up to sitting position.

“Listen here, Guerin,” Alex says and licks his lips when Michael swallows hard and his whole entire being focuses on Alex suddenly and absolute. “If I didn’t want this, you would already know and we would be heading home, but we’re not. We’re here in the backseat of my car making out like we’re teenagers but if you’re not sure you can always get off-”

Michael surges forward, pushing Alex back down on the backseat, pressing their mouths together hard and off center.

Alex slides his hands to the back of Michael’s neck, and tugs him in close, tilting his head to change the angle of the kiss.

Michael bites against his mouth and pushes his fingers into Alex’s hair, inhaling sharply when Alex drags his fingers up into his hair.

“What do you want?” Michael whispers against his mouth, kissing him deeply when Alex opens his mouth to speak.

Alex forgets about the question as Michael slides his hands down, dragging down his neck and down his chest. He tucks his left hand underneath Alex, pressing on his lower back beneath his shirt as Alex arcs into the touch. He slides his right hand all the way to the back of Alex’s left knee and then tucks it up and around his hip.

The only warning Alex gets is Michael’s fingers tightening in his hair before Michael moves grinding their hips together hard and fast and dirty. Alex gasps his head falling back, separating their mouths with a slick sound.

Michael presses his mouth to Alex’s chin and pants.

“I could always make you come just like this,” he punctuates the last three words with three deliberate thrusts that have Alex’s hands scrambling to his shoulders as he moans. “Just like if we’re teenagers making out in the backseat of your car.”

Before Alex can say anything, Michael kisses him again.

Alex tugs against the collar of Michael’s shirt and hooks his left calf over the back of Michael’s thighs as Michael licks into his mouth and slides his right hand to join his left.

Michael’s fingers slide to his hips, and he tugs and Alex moves his hips into the movement, fingers tightening in the fabric of Michael’s shirt as his hips push into Alex’s in sharp, fast movements almost as though he can’t help himself.

Alex moans low in his throat, and Michael swallows it down, kissing him deeper and moving faster, hands pressing down against Alex’s lower back fingers tucked beneath the waistband of his jeans, to keep him there as Michael grinds against him.

He stops kissing Alex, and presses their foreheads together, breathing hard right against Alex’s open mouth.

Alex’s eyes blink open and he stares at Michael, with his eyes shut tight and his brow furrowed, his tongue pressing into the corner of his mouth.

The sensations sparking through him takes a sudden sharp edge, and Alex moans breathy and high, head falling back, fingers tugging restlessly against Michael’s t-shirt.

Michael braces his knees against the seat, and his hands slide even further beneath the waistband of Alex’s jeans and he digs his fingers against Alex’s skin.

Alex groans out his name, a low and desperate sounding, “_Michael_.”

Michael groans and drops his head to Alex’s neck, mouth open and hot against his skin.

Alex’s hand spasm against his shoulders as Michael begins to thrust harder and it hurts a little bit but it feels so overwhelmingly _good_ and perfect and _hot_ and all Alex wants is to come just like this with Michael pressed close against him the scent of him embedded so deep inside that he can almost taste it.

Michael bites against his throat and Alex comes, pressing his open mouth against the side of Michael’s head and his voice cracks as he yells.

Michael bites harder against his throat and slows the roll of his hips, until he’s pressed tightly against where Alex feels wet and sensitive, mouth sucking against Alex’s neck.

Alex grips his shirt and pushes him back a little.

Michael detaches from his neck with a low moan, and complains, at least until Alex sticks his hand down his pants.

He’s not wearing any underwear which is hot in any circumstance, but even hotter now when he feels so wet and hot and hard and heavy in Alex’s hand.

Michael slides his hands up Alex’s back and pushes into it as Alex wraps his fingers around him and starts to jerk him off in fast short strokes.

He comes hot and hard all over Alex’s fingers and presses their foreheads together hard panting into Alex’s mouth.

Michael is the first to pull away, and he hovers over Alex, and Alex slides his hand out his pants.

His fingers are wet and sticky, and he’s not really thinking much about anything, but getting them clean when he sticks them into his mouth.

Michael makes a low noise at the back of his throat, and is pulling Alex’s hand away from his mouth and kissing him hard and insistent, licking until Alex opens his mouth to him.

He kisses Alex until Alex is tugging him back down on top of him.

Michael pulls back and presses their foreheads together hard, sighing deep and content.

Alex closes his eyes and concentrates of how good it feels to have Michael pressed this close, to have his scent embedded in his brain so deep that Alex will never again be able to smell a strawberry without thinking about this moment, to know without a doubt that Michael still feels the same way about him.

He inhales deeply and wraps his arms around his shoulders and exhales.

.5.

Alex is just about finished setting up everything when Michael walks out of the airstream.

His steps are measured like he’s afraid or dealing with a crazy person, and Alex rolls his eyes, but doesn’t stop what he’s doing.

Michael leans against his truck, hands on the tailgate as he looks at the thick blankets and portable heater and food that Alex has set up in the truck bed.

It’s so cold that there is snow on the ground, but Alex thinks that this all will be worth it in the end.

“What are you doing?” Michael asks finally looking at Alex who had settled himself near the heater.

“Waiting for you,” Alex says and smiles when Michael gives him an amused look.

“Milkshake?” Alex asks and lifts one of the cups in his directions.

Michael looks at the two straws sticking out of the top, and huffs out an amused breath before he’s climbing up into the back of the truck.

Alex watches him as he settles down opposite of him and takes the milkshake from his hands.

“What’s the occasion?” Michael asks as Alex opens the containers of food and hands one of the burgers over.

“Well,” Alex begins taking the cover off the second milkshake so that he can dip his fries into it. “It’s Thanksgiving, and even though I hate the holiday and don’t celebrate it, I figure I have something to be thankful for this year.”

Michael raises an eyebrow at him, and Alex smiles back.

“That I’m here with you.”

Alex watches how the words impact. Michael’s face shutters and he puts his burger down and looks at Alex intently.

“What are you doing?” he asks again but this time it has all sorts of different connotations.

Alex looks at him and sets the milkshake back in the cup holder.

Michael stares at him seriously, and Alex stares back.

“I made a choice,” Alex says finally, and bites down on his lip so that he doesn’t smile when Michael’s brow furrows. “I decided that I don’t want to be friends.”

Michael’s frown deepens.

“I’ve decided that I’m going to woo you.”

At that Michael’s eyebrows nearly fly off his face. He looks surprised, and his eyes are wide and he looks at Alex unblinkingly as though he’s afraid that he’s going to disappear, like what he’s saying is too good to be true.

Alex crawls across the space between them, pushing aside the food, and settling himself right in front of Michael.

“I’m going to ask you out on dates, and get you gifts and tell you everyday exactly how I feel about you.”

Michael licks his lips, “And how exactly _do_ you feel about me?”

Alex smiles and leans in close enough to brush their noses together, and looks into Michael’s eyes.

“I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anyone, more than I ever will.”

Michael shudders eyes fluttering shut, and Alex aches with the urge to kiss him, but he doesn’t.

He pulls away slowly, and Michael’s eyes open slowly.

He looks a little confused, but Alex just smiles and shrugs helplessly.

“I’m doing this the right way.”

Michael’s eyes narrow at him, and he reaches out catching Alex by his shoulders as he moves back.

Alex’s eyes drop to his mouth and he swallows hard.

Michael makes an amused noise, but he doesn’t pull Alex in any closer.

“This is supposed to be a date, right?”

Alex swallows again and nods his head, eyes flickering to Michael’s and then back to his mouth.

Michael’s lips curve into a smirk and Alex wants to kiss it off his face. But he has a plan here.

“Then what are you doing all the way over there?”

Alex blinks at him. “The heater is over there.”

Michael gives him a look like he’s not amused but lets Alex go.

Alex sits back down and looks over as Michael moves across the truck to settle down beside him.

He looks at Alex and smirks again before he crooks his fingers in the direction of his burger and milkshake.

Alex rolls his eyes when the food goes floating into Michael’s outstretched hands.

Michael sets the burger down in front of him and lifts the milkshake in Alex’s direction raising an eyebrow.

“That’s for you,” Alex says pretending he doesn’t understand what Michael is trying to do.

“There’s two straws,” Michael says and Alex sighs and nods his head.

“Okay,” he says and leans in to take one of the straws into his mouth.

Michael grins at him and does the same.

Alex closes his eyes when the curls falling over Michael’s forehead brush his temple.

Alex exhales slowly and inhales shakily.

Michael smells familiar and new all at once. Like sweat from keeping too warm, and mothballs from the sweater he’d pulled down from Isobel’s attic, and the soap he uses, sharp and piney, and sweet and tart like pomegranate seeds at the back of Alex’s tongue coming from his hair.

It all takes Alex back to simpler times, and he wonders if there will ever come a time when Michael doesn’t make him feel like he’s seventeen wanting and hopeful.

Alex blinks his eyes open and stares straight into Michael’s eyes, dark and wide and so green.

Alex feels a jolt of need go through him and he leans in a bit, and sees Michael tilting his chin forward.

A loud beeping horn coming from the other side of the junkyard startles them apart.

They look at each other for a long moment before Alex starts laughing. Michael grins at him and sets the milkshake down beside him before he reaches for his burger.

Alex dips a fry into his milkshake and pops it into his mouth.

“You know I only started eating them like that after I saw you do it once,” Michael starts and smiles when Alex raises an eyebrow in his direction.

“I’m serious,” he says. “I was waiting for Isobel to come out of the bathroom and you were sitting with Maria and Rosa sharing a gigantic plate of fries and with your milkshakes and I didn’t know why then, but I couldn’t stop staring at you.”

He laughs looking away, but Alex can’t stop watching him.

He grabs his burger. “The next time I went to the Crashdown, I tried it and it was delicious.”

Alex laughs and shakes his head, smiling when Michael turns to look at him.

He picks up a fry and dips it into his milkshake before offering it to Michael.

Michael takes it, and their fingers brush together sending sparks of tingling warmth through Alex.

“So,” Alex says clearing his throat. “You mean you had a crush on me that whole time and you still let me think you didn’t like me?”

Michael sputters indignantly, “In my defense, you’re the first guy I was ever attracted to, I didn’t understand what was happening. I mean, I took the guitar to get your atten-”

“You did not!” Alex cuts him off feeling amused and delighted.

Michael laughs. “I did, actually. I had it all planned out, but you caught me before I was ready.”

Alex rolls his eyes and pushes Michael to the side.

Michael laughs and starts to tell him about how much worse Max was.

Alex settles back right against his shoulder, and lets his voice wash over him, feeling happy and hopeful.


End file.
